Doing "The Next Right Thing"

Daily Reading No Matter Where I Am

    Moving to another country is a completely different thing than visiting or working for awhile. It's really quite hard, emotionally torturous sometimes, in fact. The classic 1st-world Expat, although often well-paid and treated well simply for being American, is a deeply lonely person who drinks a LOT and slides into bitterness about Germans and Germany (or wherever) when he or she is in the company of someone who speaks their native language. 
    And we all know this unhappy person, because we end up spending time with people we'd avoid back home. We do it simply because they're American, and we crave that so much after we leave it, we crave the Americanness.
    It's good advice to avoid the Negative People. But sometimes you just can't, and sometimes they're very enticing. The "Contempt Prior to Investigation," or alcoholic, mindset has created some of the world's funniest (and most sarcastic) writers and performers. 
    I used to be really good at finding things to snarkily laugh about (and entertain others with) before I decided snark just wasn't good for me in the long run. It kind of rots the soul. The only other option is...sincerity.

And so I am sincerely working my version of Step 3:


We made a decision to believe in the possibility of living in a country from which our ancestors emigrated, to trust that this guidance comes from a Higher Power of our understanding, and to strive to take no challenges personally.

    J and I had the foresight (having done this before) to agree not to split up while we are here; otherwise we might have done it by now! (And be regretting it...) Because when you're miserable and you're isolated in another culture, it's easy to take it out on your partner. 
    That's where that part about not taking anything personally really comes in handy.
    We eventually have to feel what we're feeling, whether we distract ourselves with big life changes or not. Eventually it catches up to us. And often we need more than anything the comfort of the everyday. Doing the next right thing, like making a nest for ourselves, or helping a friend dig a garden or volunteering for something. Simple things like those are very difficult to do when you're a foreigner. And it's then you realize how important they are...
    The real challenge for me, over and over again, is to say Today is My Life, whatever and wherever I am. Spending time dreaming of the perfect life is for me both addictive and dangerous. I can say with absolute certainty that if I am not happy where I am now, I won't be happy in that dreamy place. Happiness is a choice and a daily practice and it's always different from what I thought it would be...What did I think Germany would be like? Just different, really, and boy, is it ever!