Me in the Alps in Winter 2015

Me in the Alps in Winter 2015
Not Just Surviving, But Thriving!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

"First Failure of the Day"

Humbly Asked for Help Finding A Place to Live

    You say you want to move to another country? And you don't want to wait for somebody to arrange everything for you, such as that mythical fabulous employer or that sometimes very real foreign love-of-your-life. You want to go now!
    You're the kind of person who knows how to take charge, is extremely capable, and takes great pride in knowing what to do and when to do it.
    Let me ask you this: are you ready to be humbled?
    When you are a foreigner, it becomes very clear to you very quickly how okay you really are with "doing things badly." That is the foreigner's daily bread.
    On the other hand, it's also a crash course in overcoming compulsive self-reliance. You get to either suffer, or learn to humbly ask for help. You get to let other people do for you what you cannot do for yourself.
    Whether it's worth it changes every day.

Step 7: We humbly asked our Higher Power to help us with the process of becoming citizens of another country, and to ask for and accept help when we needed it.

    We literally almost left Germany for good the weekend before we moved. In the midst of this beautiful city, with wonderful new friends, we were miserable. Simply because of the never-ending stress of finding and moving to an apartment. I've moved 23 times in my life, and it was never this hard. Because I could do almost everything myself, or easily hire someone to do it.
    Not so in Germany. As with so many things, we didn't know what we didn't know until we were right in the middle of needing to know it.

    And then we moved, and the stress stopped, and the craziness went away.
    We were walking through the forest near our house the other day and we realized, This is what we thought we were going to be experiencing when we moved to Munich: a comfortable flat in a nice neighborhood. And it took us 8 difficult months (and confiding to J's company that we might just leave, so they finally hired someone to help us) to make it happen. It's a huge leap forward towards comfort and the possibility of happiness.


Germany Wants to Know Where You Live

    But it's STILL insanely hard to do a simple thing like change our address. J is at this moment standing in line at a government building hoping he's in the right place, and not knowing whether his German skills will be enough to understand what he has to do. I'm really hoping it goes well...
    As I'm writing this I get a text from J: "first failure of the day." The frustrated emoticon sums it up. He ended up in the wrong LONG line on the wrong floor of the huge government building, just to change our address!! At home we'd just spend 30 seconds online to do exactly the same thing, or drop a postcard by the post office.
    But he's philosophical about it: he probably didn't have the right papers with him, anyway (he has his identity card but forgot his passport).
    The bottom line is, perfectionists probably should not apply. 

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